horrible gushing. skip ahead to the bottom paragraph, please.

I'm only doing this 'cause this is also an output for feelings, as shown by the blogs of others that I won't mention *cough cough". XD honestly though, I won't. Anyway...

Holding hands, hugging, whatever. Being with someone you find very important to you causes emotions to stir that you wouldn't usually feel with other people of a different nature of importance. Longing and heartache are a few of the emotions you feel when you are unable to be with that person, when you can't express yourself, when you think they reciprocate your feelings but are afraid that you are just over-analysing. I cannot say from experience what kinds of feelings you would or could feel when you are with your special someone, holding hands, hugging, whatever. All I know is that I wish I could be with a special person. I do not know what love is. I love my family, my relatives, my host family, my friends, just not in that way. I don't know if what I feel is something real or just a momentary attraction. I don't want to jump to those conclusions about myself, that I've given my heart to someone unknowingly to them. I know about the love I have for a close person, I'm just not sure if I know what love in its most combustible form is like, if I've ever experienced it. There are times when I scream inside, wondering why I'm in the situation I'm in and why I'm not strong enough to turn the tables. I just wanna be with my special person...but what do I know? I'm just a teenager. If I do end up with my speical person in mind, for all I know, this feeling I've got inside me could just be a fake of what real, combustible love is like.

--END GUSH--

Gee, I've never really put that out in writing of any form before. Dunno if it sound's depressing. Missed out on United States of Tara so I could catch up on math HW on Monday. BOO. Last couple weeks have been fine, no major tragedies. Did my English speech, got notification for History assessment and finished Ag assignment in a day, I just did not present. Although I want to, I probably won't be posting the CC BBQ photos on fb anytime soon. Hm. Not much else to talk about, I'm kinda hungry though...I'll wait for dinner. GOD. Reading back on the gush part, it sounds like I'm going to commit suicide or something XD! Well, whatever, just something I needed to get out I guess. See you all later!