nonsensicals.

When I thought I could move past everything that I had hoped for, you appear in my dreams and lie. You came up to me and said you loved me. I asked you if this was a dream, and you lied to me. You said, "I'm pretty sure this isn't a dream," and you held me tight. I could feel my heart beating so hard in my chest, I felt like I was going to explode. I hugged you back and buried my face in your neck; it felt so real. We talked nonsense as we walked and hugged and held hands. I felt like I was flying higher than I had ever felt. You told me that it was real, and I believed you. Your voice was real, your face was real, you were real.

And yet, as I marveled at the fortitude of our encounter, as I listened to your voice that seemed even more special to me, I felt my eyes. I could feel my eyes in some other world, closed, even though I was able to see everything, the sun, the sky, the trees, the concrete, you. And so I opened my eyes and fell back into darkness, where I was unable to accept what had happened. It was all so real. I had dreamt up a situation of utter happiness, only to wake at 3am and stay awake for half an hour in shock. You mean so much to me, and yet I have no plans to confront anything. I am scared that you have a secret pull on me that I will not be free of for a long time. I can only hope that somehow, things will work themselves out, somehow.